Evangelist...

I'm not! Sharing my faith in an upfront and obvious way is hard for me. I can't remember a day the Lord wasn't in my life and my faith is very strong. My relationship with Him could use improvement, but what Christian wouldn't want to be closer with Him no matter how close they already are?

That being said, I had the opportunity a couple weeks ago to have a theological discussion with a couple co-workers of mine. I don't know they'd define themselves as atheist, but definitely agnostic. I don't even remember how the conversation started there in the packaging room as we made omeprazole and GI cocktail, but it was a start. They both spoke of the end of the world coming in 2012. I've not seen the movie so it's hard for me to comment on that, but when one person says she's heard that the year 2012 is in the bible then I do have to speak up there. We talked of the end of the world as we know it, at least, and they both admitted to having given it serious consideration as to if they wanted to have children before 2013. It was then that I realized just how much I trust the Lord and believe that the rapture will happen before anything like that can happen and I will be gone, along with my children and all the other believers. I have no fear on this matter what so ever. I believe so strongly that He will protect me and my children that I'm not scared at all. Will there be trials and tribulations that we will face before the rapture? Of course! Will there be times when we have to stand up for God and face possible punishment for our beliefs? Quite possibly. But I love Him and believe in Him so strongly and without even a shred of doubt that I am at peace.

My co-workers spoke of TV specials they'd seen on the Mayans and how they all disappeared at once, how the pyramids are placed perfectly in line with other objects in the universe, how those pyramids could not possibly been made in the time frames they are supposedly made as told by scientific experts, and how many other man made structures and such just can't be justified scientifically. Despite all that evidence they just laid before me that, to me, proves the existence of God, they still doubt. We talked about hell and one said to me, "Maybe we're living in hell now." I shrugged my shoulders because I didn't know exactly what to say and I like to think before I speak. But later that day when I thought back on it I wanted to rewind the day and go back to say that there is no possible way we are all living in hell right now. I've seen too many miracles first hand and there will be no miracles in hell for miracles are works of God and hell is void of Him. I hope to someday be able to say that without it all sounding weird to them. I believe God will give me the time and place to do so, so I'll wait. I know there was more we talked about, but my memory fails me now. I just remember afterwards feeling so great about my faith. Hoping that God was saying those words I long to hear more than any other, "Well done, good and faithful servant." I'd never done anything like that before. Usually I just sit back and listen while in my head arguing the truth. I didn't have an option this time. There was only the three of us and I didn't have the option of being silent. God didn't give me that option this time. And I'm glad He didn't. It felt good to share and to be able to say I didn't know about something and feel okay with that answer. I think I've always been afraid that someone would ask me a question that I didn't have the answer for and so I just didn't put myself in the position to be asked. But this time I was okay with not knowing and just answering with what I do know. I hope I gave them something to think about. A different view on the all the TV specials they'd seen. So perhaps the next one they watch they'll not blindly believe what the scientists say and have another angle to look at.

So that was a couple weeks ago. And last week my co-workers were about to drive me insane. I am one of the oldest techs in the pharmacy and the oldest one on my shift, including my supervisor. Last week I found myself annoyed to no end with their immaturity. The topics they choose to discuss and the way they like to spend their time is probably typical for their generation - of which I am a part - but it all seems so juvenile. Now I don't know if any of them will read this or not, but it's not that I dislike them, because I like most of them, but I long for an adult atmosphere at work. I just want to look at them and say, "Grow up! Be and act like the adult you're supposed to be. This is not junior high or even high school. It's time to mature." If anyone has any ideas on how better to deal with this situation I would appreciate any and all suggestions.

Now fast forward to today. I had a good day and can see the results of my hard work as I sit here typing this. Although I had lots more to get done today, it will still be there when I get home from work tomorrow and I'll work on it then. Sometime this afternoon I read a very heart-warming email and liked it so much I forwarded it. Now I don't forward very many emails anymore because I don't like to receive a lot of them so I don't put that on my friends and family either. However, every once in a while there is one I just have to share. Usually it's the ones that pull on my mommy-heart strings, which this one did. I was just about to call it a day and I checked my email one last time to find an email from my sister-in-law stating that she is an atheist and would appreciate it if I did not send her anymore of emails about religion. Wow! She was just baptized a few years ago and I can remember how happy her mother was, but I guess that's why she did it because it obviously was not because she believed at all. I knew my niece-in-law calls herself and atheist, but I had no idea my sister-in-law did too. This breaks my heart and upsets me very much. I cringe at the thought of offending anyone, especially family. And had I sent my sister-in-law repeated "religious" emails and she finally had enough and sent me the email I received tonight I could kind of understand it, but I haven't done that. I rarely email her at all because she's never liked me, but I just try to keep the peace the best I can. I do care about her and love her so this upsets me a lot even though I know the feelings are not mutual. So, I have a lot of praying to do for these two young women before Jesus returns. I don't want anyone to go through the hell on earth that will happen after the rapture, but especially family. I want to see them all in heaven someday.

Well, I have to be to up for work in a few hours. I have been meaning to write this all down for awhile now, but after that email I knew I had to stay up and do it NOW! It couldn't wait any longer. Somehow it feels better to put it on down in words. It helps me work through it all. So now I'm off to bed but not before saying some heavy duty prayers. And if you're one of those lost souls, I'll be praying for you too.